I am not making sense

I am breathing paint,
I am feeling faint,
I am obsessing songs,
I am repeating words,
I am laughing too hard,
I am thinking too much,
I am losing myself,
I am gliding to depths,
I am smiling at nothing,
I am an orange pudding,
I am not making sense,
I am stalling a fence

Buried another myself instead

I should have,
I should have locked myself in,
Cried my heart out,
I went out dancing instead

I should have,
I should have written some sad songs,
Poured my heart out,
I went to eat ice-cream instead

I should have,
I should have cried on a shoulder,
Ripped my heart out,
I became a counsellor instead

I should have,
I should have got sad drunk,
Thrown tantrums with my heart out,
I smiled at love instead

I should have,
I should have slept days and nights,
Spent hours inside,
I lost myself instead

And with all that got hidden,
With all that got over-ridden,
I buried another myself instead,
Today, I buried another myself instead.

He warms my Heart

You warm my heart,
You light my smile,
I think of you,
You are my morning glory,
My bedside story..

I looked for you Duliajan

Warm orange light at night,
Dancing in the moonlight, the starlight,
Shadows and Turns, Trees and Stones,
I have counted 83 and each leaf I had known,
And those dreams I whispered to you,
My Duliajan, you know that I have always loved you.
Do you remember the tears you soaked,
The hushed memories of dawn,
The flowers that you bloomed bright,
All those times you held me tight,
I thought we were forever.
A haven, we were comrades together.
But you made me a nomad, I had to go,
My stories went dry, I missed you so,
Travelled far and high, No solace I could find,
Matter did not exist, no heart and too much mind,
Tired I looked for you, my sanctuary,
I looked for you..

the Sapphire Soil

Do i walk on it
or do i stare
at its beauty at its peril
at its mystic like a devil

the sapphire soil of eternity
beckons to me and says
'Isn't this route well known,
am i not your only hope?'

a mockery yet true
the sapphire soil of mayhem
'there is no escape from you',
i say and tread the path to hell

p.s - wrote this one and a half years back... found it today :)

Goodbyes

on a purple night,
in the silent breeze,
i chanced upon the sky,
and i was transfixed !!
'cause the stars did twinkle
but they also winked,
and they whispered ever so softly,
they had me jinxed..
in the silence that followed,
i heard an unknown melody,
a song of space,
enrobed in stunning rhapsody,
it filled my heart,
and a joy it warmed,
an oblivion oath,
bound me tight and sound,
and suddenly,
and suddenly they glimmered,
and faded to black,
the silent still of the night,
held all the things i lacked
as i closed my eyes,
a teardrop escaped,
with a shudder i ran,
to never look back again.

about my dad

I look up to him,
with the love of blood
and bond
with the patience of years
and hope
with the warmth that only
fondness can bring
with the smile that only
understanding breeds

Yet i long to be free
of his guidance upon me
and wish to see
how wide the world really is..
how to walk on a path unknown
and face a crisis untold
how to discover things on my own
and let the wind of life
blow me away towards my calling
as it unfolds..